I’ve done really well avoiding the overthinking and worry that comes with playing a show. Especially after taking a year off and basically re-discovering my identity. I am not the same person I was last time I played a show. My songs are not the same as they were last time either.
However, tonight, the “Eve of the show” my nerves are slowly creeping in on me. I’m starting to get anxious about what people are going to think of these songs, and about me. I know it’s preposterous to worry about these things. I’ve practiced the songs basically every day since the the show got booked. I have faith in them… It’s myself where things get weary. After suffering a detrimental blow to my confidence in a previous music endeavor, it’s only natural that I would have some underlying fears. Plus, some of my closest friends whom have never seen me perform live, let alone heard this new material are going to be in the crowd. If It goes horrible I still have to face them in day to day life. But hopefully they will know it’s better left Unsaid if this goes bad. And in a couple months we can joke about it 😉
In all honesty I’m mostly worried about the small talk that an artist is suppose to do between songs. Having some introvert tendencies, I don’t do well with small talk. That’s why I keep referring to the show as a “train wreck” waiting to happen. you know you shouldn’t watch but you can’t just look away. When I record an official EP (because I will) I’m thinking of calling it “TrainWreck” sort of as an inside joke with myself. Plus I’ve been writing on piano( ok ok. I’ve been attempting to write on a piano) and I actually have “TrainWreck” worked into a song. So it wouldn’t be a complete joke on my behalf. I don’t think.
I did read a beautiful quote earlier that helps soothe my troubles.
<blockquoteMaking yourself uncomfortable and stretching and pushing yourself is when the best stuff happens…
I’m rambling now, I guess I’ll go back to watching YouTube videos and keep distracting myself now.
Wish me luck.