August 26, 2014- Decisions

I’m sitting at the hospital right now and it’s giving me time to think(I’m fine up here with family nothing to serious). I’ve been putting off writing this post until I figured out what it is I REALLY want to do. If you’ve been following this blog you know that I’ve been extremely determined and adamant about wanting to move to California. While this is still true, I would love to live there someday. I’ve realized that Oklahoma, for me right now, is where I should be. The opportunities for my songwriting are numerous and things are happening here in OK. If I leave now, I’ll be starting over completely. As a little fish in a big pond. Here it’s like I’m a medium fish in a slightly less bigger pond.
I did find a piece of myself that has been missing while I was out in California. I guess that’s enough for me for now, and I’m okay with that.

What do I do now that I’m staying home?

That’s the question I’m working on answering. I will start playing more shows and hone my writing skills and find my voice. I’m currently searching for a house to buy and create a stable environment to create new songs and bring life back into the old ones.

I’ve lucked into some inspiration lately so hopefully there won’t be as many sad songs. I didn’t realize I wrote as many as I did until someone told me they stumbled across my music online after searching “engulfing sadness”. Despite finding that amusing, it made me realize that I really don’t write “happy” songs. I write songs that sound happy but once you dig into the lyrics they really are not.

Man, speaking of downer stuff; this post is kind of a downer… I’ll post a more uplifting, and cheerful post in a day or two.

Jess

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