I’m sitting at the hospital right now and it’s giving me time to think(I’m fine up here with family nothing to serious). I’ve been putting off writing this post until I figured out what it is I REALLY want to do. If you’ve been following this blog you know that I’ve been extremely determined and adamant about wanting to move to California. While this is still true, I would love to live there someday. I’ve realized that Oklahoma, for me right now, is where I should be. The opportunities for my songwriting are numerous and things are happening here in OK. If I leave now, I’ll be starting over completely. As a little fish in a big pond. Here it’s like I’m a medium fish in a slightly less bigger pond.
I did find a piece of myself that has been missing while I was out in California. I guess that’s enough for me for now, and I’m okay with that.
What do I do now that I’m staying home?
That’s the question I’m working on answering. I will start playing more shows and hone my writing skills and find my voice. I’m currently searching for a house to buy and create a stable environment to create new songs and bring life back into the old ones.
I’ve lucked into some inspiration lately so hopefully there won’t be as many sad songs. I didn’t realize I wrote as many as I did until someone told me they stumbled across my music online after searching “engulfing sadness”. Despite finding that amusing, it made me realize that I really don’t write “happy” songs. I write songs that sound happy but once you dig into the lyrics they really are not.
Man, speaking of downer stuff; this post is kind of a downer… I’ll post a more uplifting, and cheerful post in a day or two.